Sandy Hook Touches the World

I haven't blogged in sometime, but in the wake of this tragedy in my own backyard I felt compelled to write.

My daughter attends sandy hook elementary school. I just switched her there in October. Thankfully for us, she attends the pm kindergarten session because she did not want to participate in nap time at her current daycare. She is five and did not have to witness the tragic events that occurred at her school just next door. I keep thinking what if....and I know that so many families are probably thinking the same thing but are not able to hear the laughter of their little ones. They will never hold them or tell them everything is going to be ok. So how dare I even think those thoughts when I can?

I have stopped thinking this way and have been trying to find something, anything good that could have possibly come from this.

So I have realized that people all across the world have come together. People we are or have been at war with, people who live on the other side of the world, but all in all just people. Mothers, fathers, grandparents,sisters, brothers, aunts and uncles, cousins,sons and daughters. We are all one of these things. We have all been born to a mother and father to exist on this earth. We all have something in common because we live. Race, religion, politics, whatever people think separate us from one another cannot separate us from the fact that we are all the same living, breathing beings. People in this world have united because they feel our pain, and that is a beautiful thing. 

In the wake of an unimaginable tragedy where the "bad" in one person took 26 lives the "good" in all of mankind has triumphed. There is good in this world and it WILL overcome evil!  All people can do in a circumstance that is unchangeable is react....that is the only real power we have and the response from the world has been amazing. These amazing families that have lost loved ones stand strong....even offering up compassion for the persons family that did this! I

Ghandi said, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong" I have never experienced such strength before. These families have lost so much and are staying strong. Being supported by all mankind. I am not a religious person, but, god would be proud.

So in the wake of madness the world has shined. Newtown and sandy hook have shined and have showed the world what strength and compassion really is. I am proud to live in such an amazing town.

If you would like to donate to the families of Newtown please visit
https://www.everribbon.com/ribbon/view/10076

Defining moments

I know its been awhile and soooooo much has happened in my life. To give you the cliffs notes version, I am now divorced and I am renting a small house not far from my former, much larger house. (I am pointing out the house size for a reason.) I have been working on my marriage for years but it takes two. In my case, when I was working on things, he was not interested. Now, 3 years later, he wants to work on things. I’m over it. You can only forgive someone so many times before you’ve had enough. I’ve been mad at myself for not leaving sooner but I left, non-the-less, and I’m proud of me!
Through this process, I was very scared. I am a licensed massage therapist but have been a stay at home mom for the last five years. My ex-husband took care of the money and I did the rest. So, without him, I didn’t know what I was going to do or how I was going to support myself and two children. Luckily, the state I live in realizes that could be an issue, so for now, I can get my act together and figure out my plan of attack!
I always wanted a nice house, who doesn’t, I didn’t want to worry about money, I always have, and I wanted to be able to stay home with my children. Sometimes when you get what you want, you realize it’s not all its cracked up to be.
I had the nice house, didn’t have to worry about money, and was able to stay home and raise my children. The thing was, I was lonely. The worst feeling in the world is being married to someone and feeling more lonely when they are around than when they are gone. Having everything and missing the times that you had nothing. I was raised in a small house and I just was never comfortable in the big one. I didn’t decorate, the walls were bare. It just reflected the emptiness I felt inside. I would rather have nothing and be happy than have everything and be miserable.
I was still nervous of making that move. Leaving the life I had for the unknown. But, in the midst of fear and anxiety, wondering who would help me, who is going to take care of me....I took care of myself! I was finishing putting my sons bed together and realized what I had done and what I am capable of. I took apart a fireplace, two really heavy wooden beds, moved all of it by myself, then put it all back together. So yes, my life has changed, it has been torn apart, but I am putting it all back together. I don’t need anyone to take care of me. I am very capable of doing it on my own. I don’t have the luxury of paying people to do things for me anymore. But I like that. I was so nervous about moving to a smaller house and how my kids would react, but it feels more like a home here than the big house ever did. I am finding myself in this process and appreciating my children and watching how they are handling all of this change. They are phenomenal! For example....
I didn’t have beds for them for the first week. I brought over their mattresses and had to put them on the floor....they were so excited! When they had nothing in their rooms, my daughter got all of her clothes and put them away in her closet and then did the same for her brother. She didn’t care that she had nothing, she was just excited to be here in her new home with her brother and I. I brought very few toys from the rooms of toys they are used to and they said they like it better. That they have to many toys and its a lot easier to clean up now.
Kids really don’t require a lot of things....just a lot of love and that is one thing I am overflowing with! I am so proud of them and of myself. This journey was much needed and I am seeing myself in a much brighter light. I used to get down on myself and feel worthless and now....I’m coming into my own and its the best feeling in the world!
I just wanted to share this incase anyone needs some inspiration. I know that sometimes things can look scary but once you take that plunge it could be the best thing you’ve ever done. So don’t stay in a situation that makes you miserable just because its comfortable....you never know what you could be missing!

The Green Monster

Its one of those mornings. I wake up at 8:30 and my daughter has to be to pre-school at 9. So the mad dash to get to school begins. I am dressed in half of what I slept in while I dig for anything for my kids to wear. Cutsie little outfits and pigtails are out and anything clean is what we’re working with. 
“Here kids, eat a muffin”, I say as I yank off their jammies and pull on their clothes. “Go potty, get shoes, we can do this!”
 We haul ass downstairs to the garage and pile in the car. Luckily I remember to open the garage this time and don’t back into the door.... again! I drive to the top of my driveway and feel off. I see that all of my neighbors have put out their recycling for tomorrow mornings pick-up and I still haven’t removed my garbage pail from the top of the driveway. Really?! Sometimes I am annoyed that my neighbors are so on top of things while I am rushing to get my kids to school on time. Yep, I’m that neighbor. Baseball cap, running shorts and a t-shirt, garbage still taunting everyone as they are forced to drive by my house, its the first one on our cul-de-sac. I wonder if they take bets on when I’m going to bring it back in. I would. 
Just one of those days, dreary and muggy, not my favorite combo. It is what it is. I’m up, made it to school on time and I’m going to get motivated and clean this house! Maybe I’ll wait on the garbage for now and let it sit and be the eye sore of the neighborhood. Ah, lone, ugly, oversized green garbage container... make mama proud! 


Hope your day is full of beauty!

Hope your day is full of beauty!

Buy a Baby?!

Just a little story I thought I’d share before I
A.- Forget it and
B.- so I can post SOMETHING on my lost and lonely blog!

I’m so tired by the end of the soccer, dance, preschool, adventure play, Christmas show rehearsal, house cleaning, food cooking, coupon clipping, grocery shopping, all around crazy filled day, all I want to do is nothing! To even think of a clever thought has certainly been out of my grasp lately. If anyone reads this, thank you. I still think of you often, I just lack anything worthy of sharing. Storytelling seems to be reserved for my 3 and 4 year old while I zone out on what  I’m actually reading to them and think of what has to be done when they are finally asleep! Love how that brain seems to just work on autopilot sometimes! So without any further ado, my story...


 The other day, my 4 year old daughter comes over to me and asks, “mom, when am I gonna be big? I really want to be a grown up, so when, mom?”

So I’m wondering why on earth any child would want to be a grown up. Well, I guess, since they don’t know any better. I remember wanting the same thing when I was her age. Ugh...If only I knew.

So I ask her, “Why do you want to be a grown up?”

To which she replies, “So I can buy my own baby. Not a pretend one mom, a real baby that I can take care of. So can we buy one pleeeeeease?”

Hahahahahaha, I wish it was that easy. 2 kids, 15 months apart, one girl 4 and one boy 3....I’m good....we wont be “buying” anymore babies!

So I proceed to tell her that mommy has to grow a baby in her belly and it takes a long, long time. Then I said that if I had another baby, I wouldn’t have a lot of time for her or her brother.

 “So when you ask for things like a drink or a treat mommy might be to busy to help you, because babies are a lot of work.” Obviously I am trying to squash the “baby” thing asap. She’s got all the answers though.

“Well mom, I can make my own peanut butter and jelly AND I can reach the salami so its no big deal, I can do things myself.”

Ha, well that's that then...we’ve got pb and j and salami so all is good....lets bring on the baby.... Don’t think so.

Then I say, “ well at night when you are trying to sleep, the baby might wake you up, they are very loud.”

“Thats ok mom, if the baby wakes me up I’ll just tell you and daddy and go back to sleep.”

Yeah, that's great..and exactly why Mommy's not “buying” anymore babies.
Super cute though how kids rationalize things.

I changed the subject and that was that. Love the attention span of a 4 year old. Yes it does come in handy sometimes. I have a cute story about my son too, but I’ll save that for another day.

I hope you are all well!!!

Coupons? Me? Who Knew!

So I have been couponing....kind of. I always use coupons and I might start trying to take it to the next level. Not quite extreme couponing, but I just found a deal for that magazine “all you” that always has a ton of coupons. It ends up costing only $19.00 for a 2 year subscription. That’s what I like to see! Here is the link in case any of you are interested. https://www.saveology.com/shares/609330 You buy a voucher for $15 that is worth $30. Then they send you an activation e-mail the next day. So you can order your magazine filled with delicious coupons. Not sure why I refer to everything as a food item.

I have been trying to find ways to get more coupons, like going to gas stations and asking for their leftover papers. Its kind of embarrassing though. I haven’t resorted to going through the trash....not going to happen. I think I will just have as many papers as I can delivered to our house and then maybe buy a few more papers Sunday morning.

Ha, who knew I would be all organized and stuff! So not me! Its a work in progress. I also just bought one of those BBB books... Busy Body Books. I have yet to fill it out. Its to big to fit in my purse so that's annoying. I like it though. Maybe I just need a bigger purse!  If you want a BBB I suggest buying it from amazon. If you need anything else from the site you can do the super saver shipping. I always order on amazon so it worked for me. I got my BBB for $11 something.

Woah, gotta go....you know, its 10:30 and if I don't shower now, its NOT gonna happen. Hope all is well...I wish you all lots of love and happiness!

A review to WINE about

Yes all, I have been MIA for quite sometime. I like to say I have been a blog slacker. With all of the new school and activity changes I am just trying to catch up, keep the house in order and remember to feed my family...at least 2 meals a day! I have started to fall into the flow of it all so I thought I would take a minute to say HELLO and I miss you! I love my blogger friends and I’m sorry for not keeping up with it.

I hear kids coming so I don’t know how much time I’ll have. Ooooh, I did want to mention my trip with my husband to the Finger Lakes in NY. It was actually the first place we ever went together, so it has some meaning for us. Oh, and it’s packed with wineries. We have gone there about 6 times....we try to stock up our wine every six months if we can get away for the weekend....so we know the places we like and the ones we really don’t like. We always stay at the Belhurst Castle, in the Vinifera Inn...its the new section. We don't like Inn feel, but if you do than the castle might be a good choice for you. Its all connected, just depends on your style.

This past trip, we finally, finally, got a limo. It was our anniversary and my husbands birthday. We always talk about getting one but it is really expensive. I found a place, affordable limousine, which is just that. It was half the price of all the other companies. The woman, Amy, that I dealt with was super nice. The downside, I guess, was that the limo was older. Not like run down old, just not brand new. We couldn’t believe we had the whole thing to ourselves! It made no difference to us, it was perfect. A huge limo, privacy, no worries about DWI’s and we could drink in the limo. Not that we needed to. After 2 wineries we both had a nice buzz going.

A little disappointing though, one of our favorite places turned out to be SO RUDE! The Prejean Winery is usually where we buy most of our Gewurztraminer . We were in the middle of a tasting and one of the workers asked the crowd who had the limo. We said it was ours and she asked where it was from. I told her and asked if there was a problem as I watched her scribble down the name on a tiny piece of paper. She then told us that our limo driver was rude and she didn’t like how she spoke to her. I asked what happened and was told that our driver had come in to use the bathroom and to get us a box for our wine. The rude part, apparently, was that the Prejean worker said they didn’t have a lot of boxes and wondered what she needed it for. Our driver replied with “its for my clients, did you think I was just a stranger off the street?” I guess what our driver said was rude. Then the worker, as she is telling the crowd of people the story about our  limo driver, said our driver looked strange and with the kind of people that come in to their winery, you just never know.

Really, because I thought the worker was extremely rude! She straight up made fun of our driver and the way she looked, oh yes, our driver was a female by the way, and then talked about it in front of a huge crowd of people. I’m sorry but there is a way to handle things and we spend ALOT of money in that place. NO MORE. I didn’t even think what she said was rude anyway. My husband told the woman that she should have taken us aside and asked us about the situation privately and that it wasn’t our driver who appeared to be rude. She just brushed us off and said yeah well, whatever. Totally ruining our tasting experience. We left and bought nothing. We are all about the people. If you have rude inconsiderate people working for you, what is that going to say about your business. We will never return to that winery.

On a lighter note,Lakewood Vineyards is by far our very favorite winery, and it was the first winery my husband and I ever went to. The people are amazing and fun and their wine never disappoints. They make you feel like family from the moment you walk in until the moment you walk out. Their port, if you like port, is just perfect. Its not to strong, but still has some kick. Its not our very favorite, but its close. We usually buy at least 4 bottles. The price is reasonable and its perfect to sip on a brisk fall night or in the middle of the winter in front of the fire. We make sure we have enough to last until the spring. Our favorite port is a little pricey so if we are going with price and flavor, Lakewood would have to be the best.

Wow, sorry for the long winded blog/review but I’ll throw out some of our other favorites in another post. Hey, who doesn’t love a good bottle of wine! You can have it shipped too!

Bottoms up!

Ranting about facebook for no good reason

Oh my sweet blog readers....if there are any of you still out there.....it has been a bit crazy over the past couple weeks. As soon as I started to write again, we got hit with hurricane Irene leaving us without power for 6 days. Yes, six days. I’m sure there were a lot of people that were left without homes, so I have to say it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but did leave me computer-less. It also seems that I am the one person left in the United States that does not have e-mail on their phone.

Damn you technology, I am always the last to get it. I don’t care, I get things when I feel I need them, not just cause it’s the thing to do. I have to tell ya though, lately, I NEED it! With all of these activities for the kids and cancellations, birthday parties, doctor appointments, dentist appointments, you see where I’m going with this, I seriously NEED to be plugged in.

I’m not into facebook and twitter, I do have a facebook account that I check and update randomly so I can let my few friends see how AWESOME my life is. I mean my life on facebook can be whatever I want it to be...cant it. So.... yes all....my life is perfect and my family is perfect and I only post perfect pictures....your welcome.

Ah, but I know the truth. I get why people are addicted to facebook. You can appear to be whoever you want to be and have no one in your face to argue with you or call you out on your shit. You can just sit back and live your internet existence and never go out into the REAL world and experience anything. I’m sorry, but I would rather live with my imperfections and actually LIVE than be addicted to facebook.

 Seriously, they had a show about people addicted to facebook. WTF! They have a whole new disorder called F.A.D http://socialtimes.com/facebook-addiction-disorder-the-6-symptoms-of-f-a-d_b60403
 Um...is this a joke? I’m really not sure. Ok, if it’s on CNN it has to be real! http://articles.cnn.com/2009-04-23/health/ep.facebook.addict_1_facebook-page-facebook-world-social-networking?_s=PM:HEALTH_
They have a facebook addiction disorder page ON FACEBOOK! Holy crap batman! I seriously don’t even know what to say. Well if you need help with your STUPID addiction.....Stop READING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES LIVES AND GO LIVE YOUR OWN....or....go to this site....I cant believe they even have one...  http://www.wikihow.com/Defeat-a-Facebook-Addiction

 Anyway......

I know that its good for buisness and reconnecting with friends, but I just don’t know about the technical world today. I mean, people have relationships through text and e-mail. What is it, sexting? Wow, that would just not do it for me. What happened to human connection? I seriously hope that my children don’t get sucked into the “matrix” if you will. I guess they will have to at some level. I just want them to always connect on a face to face level with people, not with a machine.

Wow, I just did a little ranting and raving didn’t I. I apologize. Apparently I have some pent up issues that I’ll have to figure out when I have some free time. Until then, I hope to pleasure you with my words....it’s not sexting! More like....bloggerplay. Yeah, don’t mind me...I would erase the last 2 sentences but I’m to tired and someone's gonna like it. Oh hey, guess where I'm going to post my blog....