Did that old man just brake check me?! Yep!

Ok, so I’m trying to be in my “happy place” and well, today had a few irritating moments. I thought I would share them. Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I drop my daughter off at dance camp and then I go to the gym, rush home to shower and bring my son to swim lessons. Swim ends at 12 and I pick my daughter up between 12:15 and 12:30. I am notoriously early, so when I show up on time, my daughter thinks I’m late. Love that.

 So today....

I dropped off my daughter and was off to the gym. I jumped on a tread mill, ran 1 mile them switched to the swinging machine I love so much. I ended at 10:30 so I would have time to shower. When we got to the car I remembered that my son needed swim diapers. Ugh...no store was that close, so I ran to CVS where I got raped on diapers! $10.99 for 11 swim diapers! Damn you CVS and your price gouging. I had no time to quibble over the issue so I put on my big girl panties and sucked it up!

Almost home and I get stuck behind a shiny topaz Ford contour, clearly being operated by an old man. Speed limit is 35 grandpa, lets get on that gas and see if that baby can get over 20MPH. Yes, I was on his ass, but he was going so slow, how could I not be unless I stopped in the middle of the road! So what does this old geezer do, he brake checks me. Doesn’t affect me since we are already going at a snails pace. But really, did I just get brake checked by grandpa? Yep...Then he speeds up and comes to a halt in the middle of the road. I stop and wait to make sure its not a heart attack he is having and then he continues. Still not reaching over 20MPH he stops again. Now I’m annoyed and in a hurry! I lay on my horn and finally pass him.


So now, he speeds up on my ass. Come on old timer...I have my son in the car and my SUV could swallow your tiny sedan in a second. Lets stick to games more appropriate for your age group...which I can assure you, certainly do NOT involve cars. I wanted so badly to slam on my breaks so this guy would smash into the ass end of my car and I could cash in. No, I am better than that. He finally turned and I got home just in time to change and get the hell out of the house. No shower.

Boy, just annoying. So far the rest of the day is going much better. I wasn’t exposed by my son in swim class, so that’s a plus. I have to get my coupons together and make a shopping list. Lets see how this shopping trip goes and how many people we can meet in one day. My kids are so friendly, which makes everyone we encounter super nice. I like it.

If our trip goes awry, you’ll be the first to know!

The toot train!

On my day before vacation errands, we had to stop at CVS for a prescription. I go there because they have a drive through window. So I asked for the rx and was told it was there for 2 weeks and had to be put back. UGH! So now I finally get to the damn place and they don’t have what I’m looking for! It will be a half hour. Insert raspberry/Bronx cheer noise here.

I plan my outings in order of farthest from my house and on what sides of the road they are on. This one was farthest from my house and on the wrong side of the road. So I decide to continue on and go get dog food, which is on the right side of the road. Then proceed to pick up some way to expensive pottery my kids painted for fathers day, yes I know it was 2 weeks ago, also on the right side of the road. When I left, I  actually pulled right out with no traffic to stop me as I journeyed back the way I came.
I still have to get back to the house so I can meet the young man that’s going to watch our dogs. So I decided to fill up the almost full tank with gas since its on the right side of the road on my way back to CVS where they were holding my rx hostage. Did you get all that?

Back to the other side of town. I pull up to the window and there is a new woman there to greet me. As soon as she opens the window my daughter shouts that she just tooted and wanted to know if we could smell it. The woman just stared at me and I smiled.

“Ok honey, you have to be quiet while mommy’s getting the medicine.”

Which meant nothing to her. So next was “yummmm, my toot smells so good, I want to eat it!”

Seriously, did my daughter just shout that out. Thankfully we were not in the store and only the strange lady behind the glass slider was fortunate enough to witness the random outbursts my little one was serving up. The odd way she looked at me didn’t bother me a bit. Although, it was kind of funny and I’m surprised she didn’t even crack a smile. Insert Bronx cheer yet again.

I’m not easily embarrassed anymore thanks to my offspring. Usually people look at us and smile and say how cute they are....even if they are trying to eat their toots. Actually, this was my first ride on the toot train and I look forward to more outbursts on crowded streets and in stores while we are on vacation. That’s one I hope to get on video. Ready or not AFV...I’m coming for my $10,000! If only I had a built in video camera on my head, we would have won a ton of money!


Until then, only you, sweet blog readers, will be blessed with the antics of my children. Your welcome!