The Perfection Project

So, just after I wrote my last entry, “soul searching” I realized that I was running late to a new class I was taking at the gym. It was outside since the usual turf was being occupied by this years summer soccer camp. I made it just in time.

While I was covered in sweat and panting, the wind seemed to blow at just the right times. It lifted my matted hair gently off of my face and in a moment where I was struggling to do just one more anything, I felt luxurious and at peace. I noticed the trees and how they just let the wind take them in any direction. They were always vulnerable to what mother nature had to offer and they just swayed with it. They danced to the rhythm of the seasons. At this moment, their leaves were flipped up exposing their lighter side of green. Which in my experience means a storm is coming. It really felt like the calm before the storm.

While in this state of discovery and appreciation, I started thinking about perfection. I realized that most things of value are one of a kind. The less their is of something the more valuable it becomes. The Mona Lisa stuck out to me for some reason. A one of a kind, replicated by many, piece of art that may perhaps be to valuable to put a price tag on. It is the only one of its kind. Some people love it, others probably think its ugly.

By our typical standards of today, she’s not that attractive. To some, she may be a goddess. My point is, she, like the painting is one of a kind. The original version cannot be replicated. It is a priceless piece of art and so are you.

Every imperfection, freckle, different colored eye, even your jiggle in the middle, is priceless. It cannot be replicated. It is who you are and what makes you valuable. You cannot be bought by anyone. Your worth is immeasurable. You are a gift to anyone you chose to share your life with. Your spouse,  your children, your friends and family. You are a treasure and no one could take your place. No one is just like you. For you are one of a kind. So that, like an exquisite work of art is priceless. You should know that.

The Project

I dare you to find perfection in something you think is imperfect. I double dare you! As you do whatever it is you do today, look at the world. Notice things in your world that you usually judge or hate about your world. It could be anything.

Do you or have you had that one cup that wasn’t dishwasher safe but  you don’t read directions so you put it in anyway. It then melted slightly and took on a strange shape that still resembled a cup, just a little different, more unique. I bet it was your favorite cup. You couldn’t buy another one. Its imperfection was perfect for you. In fact, it was your favorite because it was different. That happens a lot doesn’t it? With a lot of things, not just cups.

So why do we all strive to be perfect? What does perfection mean to you?

Just think about it and open your eyes.

Here are a few examples of what I mean....

Your old couch smells but you can’t afford a new one so it pisses you off that you have to sit on it and look at it every day. Now look at the couch and remember when you first bought it. How much you loved it and how nice it looked the first time you put it in your living room. How many memories have been made on that couch. The stain from one of your kids or your self that always reminds you of how much fun you had the day you made it.

OR

Look at yourself and that jigglie belie that you keep meaning to get rid of. Touch it, wiggle it, appreciate it. When your ready to change it you will, but for now love it and realize you wouldn’t be you without it. I’m sure your the only one that really has a problem with it anyway so just let it go. Love yourself and all of your imperfections. Realize that’s what makes you valuable. That’s what makes you priceless.

Now go on out there and look at the world. Let me know what you see. I bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Welcome to the beginning of a perfectly imperfect day!

Soul searching

I have decided to take my blog in a different direction, at least for now, while I am doing a little “soul searching”. I would like to take all of you on this journey with me. Perhaps it will lead you to your own journey.

I so often feel like I am not good enough, a “Waynes World” recap of “I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy” is ringing in my head. I also realized that I am not the only person in the world experiencing this emotion. This may be the reason I am sharing it with all of you. I have just started reading a book The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown after reading countless other self help, self love, books. I have noticed that I certainly do not lack the courage to say what is on my mind and exactly how I feel. However, I do harbor  the feeling  of “I’m not good enough” and often put up the “whatever” front or I attack the person that makes me feel vulnerable and then I cry.

I’ve noticed, so far, that I am lacking in compassion and always trying to fix people instead of just listening to them. I just say, your great why don’t you try this instead. My ideas are always the best and if you don’t want to take my advice then forget it. Or I go in to a “one up” story about an experience I’ve had that was way worse, thinking that will make you feel better about what you have just gone through. Apparently, that doesn’t work. If you are reading this and I have done that to you, I’m sorry.

Listening to people is key. All someone needs sometimes is just to be heard. They don’t want to be fixed or helped or one-uped. They just need a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear. Whatever shame or guilt you are in the middle of, just telling someone about it suddenly takes it away, makes it better, than just holding it all in.

I am lucky enough to have several people to talk to about everything and anything, I hope you do to. If you don’t, feel free to e-mail me or leave an anonymous comment. I promise, you will feel at least a little bit better just getting it out there. Then to realize you’re not the only person who feels this way is gold! Really, any emotion you have when you are feeling alone and discouraged is being felt by millions of other people. Why not just get it out there instead of letting it fester inside of you. Clean out the guilt and shame and make room for love and happiness. Hey, it’s worth a try.

It’s ok if your not perfect. In fact, people’s ideas of perfect are so different, who even knows what perfect is anymore.
Here is the definition of perfect: Make (something) completely free from faults or defects, or as close to such a condition as possible:
a.Being entirely without fault or defect: flawless “a perfect diamond”
satisfying all requirements: accurate
faithfully reproducing the original; specifically: letter perfect. Here is the link, http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/perfect

Personally I don’t like “perfect”. To me it seems to lack any personality or character. Let’s just say to me perfect would be robotic and unreal. Not really my style. I have my own set of “perfect”. Which makes me think of my husband. I have had so many past boyfriends that would have little “quirks” if you, will that drove me nuts. The way they pronounced a certain word... you say tomato I say tomAto....or a habit I couldn’t stand like drinking countless amounts of diet pepsi or just wearing the wrong clothes. Yes, I’d say I’m shallow or was just really not happy in a relationship so I picked out ridiculous things to dislike for a way out.

Now, back to my husband, the point of this “perfect” notion. He has flaws and little characteristics that would, in the past, drive me nuts. Instead, they are some of the things that I love most about him. Things I would never want to change. He knows what they are and I think everyone has their own imperfections. But to the right person, someone that truly loves you, those imperfections are what draws you closer. To the people that matter, those are the things that just make you who you are. What I’m trying to say is my husband isn’t perfect, if he was I wouldn’t be married to him I’d be married to a robot. But he is perfect to me. He is my kind of perfection. Which seems to mean accepting a person for who they are and loving every part of them no matter what. Your husband, sister, brother, best friend, anyone that truly matters to you. No one is the definition of perfect, but we are all perfect in our own unique ways.

So I hope I haven’t confused you to much, I just started this “soul search” and I hope it inspires you to read it as much as it inspires me to write it.