I'm Baaaaaaack!

Ok, it has been awhile. Lucky for me, I have been busy! I went back to my hometown recently, not my favorite place in the world, but I got to visit my brother and sisters and that was AWESOME! They are a lot younger than me, but are now teenagers, so it’s kinda crazy. They aren’t babies anymore! Anyway, I got to sing with my brothers band, who are amazing by the way! I don’t share a lot of info about my personal life on here, names, places things like that, but I’m sharing this!    http://www.facebook.com/burnthecharts

Please check them out. I’m going to be singing on one of their songs when their next cd comes out and it was amazing! I had so much fun recording with them. They are all crazy talented and I’m sure you will hear about them soon!

Besides all that excitement, my little man is potty training. Its hilarious because he will only go on the “big” potty and although he doesn’t have to wipe when he pees, he unravels the toilet paper and throws some in anyway. It’s super cute! He does a little pee pee on the potty song and dance...I made it up to get him excited and it just kind of stuck with him. Almost all the way, still working on number 2...no real way to say that nicely.

I can’t believe school is going to start soon. I’m a room mother for my daughters class and I have a meeting to goto tomorrow evening. Crazy how the summer goes by so fast! Next year, my daughter will be starting kindergarten! It’s so surreal. People always told me that it would go by before you know it and it sure does! My babies aren’t babies anymore! Oh well. They will always be MY babies.

Before I get all choked up, I’m gonna get going. So much to clean. My husband kept the house so nice while I was gone! I walked in and everything was spotless...until I brought in all of our crap and ruined it. So, I’m off...hopefully I will not neglect my blog any further. Their are bound to be some random acts of crazy in the near future...so until then, enjoy whats left of the summer!

Did that old man just brake check me?! Yep!

Ok, so I’m trying to be in my “happy place” and well, today had a few irritating moments. I thought I would share them. Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I drop my daughter off at dance camp and then I go to the gym, rush home to shower and bring my son to swim lessons. Swim ends at 12 and I pick my daughter up between 12:15 and 12:30. I am notoriously early, so when I show up on time, my daughter thinks I’m late. Love that.

 So today....

I dropped off my daughter and was off to the gym. I jumped on a tread mill, ran 1 mile them switched to the swinging machine I love so much. I ended at 10:30 so I would have time to shower. When we got to the car I remembered that my son needed swim diapers. Ugh...no store was that close, so I ran to CVS where I got raped on diapers! $10.99 for 11 swim diapers! Damn you CVS and your price gouging. I had no time to quibble over the issue so I put on my big girl panties and sucked it up!

Almost home and I get stuck behind a shiny topaz Ford contour, clearly being operated by an old man. Speed limit is 35 grandpa, lets get on that gas and see if that baby can get over 20MPH. Yes, I was on his ass, but he was going so slow, how could I not be unless I stopped in the middle of the road! So what does this old geezer do, he brake checks me. Doesn’t affect me since we are already going at a snails pace. But really, did I just get brake checked by grandpa? Yep...Then he speeds up and comes to a halt in the middle of the road. I stop and wait to make sure its not a heart attack he is having and then he continues. Still not reaching over 20MPH he stops again. Now I’m annoyed and in a hurry! I lay on my horn and finally pass him.


So now, he speeds up on my ass. Come on old timer...I have my son in the car and my SUV could swallow your tiny sedan in a second. Lets stick to games more appropriate for your age group...which I can assure you, certainly do NOT involve cars. I wanted so badly to slam on my breaks so this guy would smash into the ass end of my car and I could cash in. No, I am better than that. He finally turned and I got home just in time to change and get the hell out of the house. No shower.

Boy, just annoying. So far the rest of the day is going much better. I wasn’t exposed by my son in swim class, so that’s a plus. I have to get my coupons together and make a shopping list. Lets see how this shopping trip goes and how many people we can meet in one day. My kids are so friendly, which makes everyone we encounter super nice. I like it.

If our trip goes awry, you’ll be the first to know!

Punch your mouth in it's face!

Recently, I was at a gas station, paying way to much for gas and I saw an advertisement on the gas pump. I laughed my ass off! It was for ruffles potato chips. Apparently, they have a new flavor that is so spicy, you”ll want to punch your mouth in the face.

How clever. Then I thought to myself, well, I don’t like spicy food, I just can’t handle it, but my mouth could sure use a good punch in it’s face. I mean, where would your mouths face be anyway. My mouth is on my face, clearly, but thinking of my actual mouth having a face and being punched in it left me thinking.

Is it inside my mouth? Since the flavor of a super spicy chip would certainly affect my insides, that could be a good guess. Maybe my mouth’s face is that little hangie ball thing in the back of my throat. If that’s it and I get punched in it, watch out people, cause I’m gonna puke all over you! Really, I just thought it was a clever ad and I wanted to share that and my warped thinking with you. Give you a little laugh!

On that note, my weekend was a little crazy, as crazy weekends go. One of those, birthday, anniversary, birthday weekends. None of them were mine, sadly, but man, they just come in droves during the summer. We drove 1.5 hours...each way... every day this weekend. We should have just stayed in my crap hometown, but honestly, I would rather drive the 3 hours to avoid being in that town for any longer than necessary!

I feel bad bashing where I grew up, but man...it’s so bad! Even the people that still live there agree with me. They can’t wait to get out! Whew, so happy that I did. Far enough away but still close enough to visit when we have to, without staying over.

I have to go back to my amazing summer filled with dance camp drop offs and pick ups and swim lessons in a way to cold pool that yes, I have to go in since my son is just under 3. Come on red cross...it’s just 2 months. What’s even better is that my son is in the pinching and hitting phase and I’m waiting for him to grab my bathing suit right off and give those lifeguards a show. He would laugh and I would turn a very bright shade of red. I can’t make that bathing suit any tighter and it almost happened yesterday. I’ll keep you “abreast” of my swim lesson mishaps.

Until next time! Hope your summer is going well!

Weekend Shenanigans

I think my husband saw what a lousy week I was having and decided to end it with a BANG! My mom was over, and he randomly texted me, asking me if she would watch the kids so he could take me to Mohegan Sun. If you don’t know, it’s a huge casino filled with amazing restaurants and shops.

I was so excited! My mother said she would stay and off we went to a night filled with amazing food, gambling and drinks! He always knows just what I need and that was it. We had a kick ass dinner at an Italian restaurant with waterfalls flowing down the walls. My husband took to seat facing the people so I could enjoy the view. He is so thoughtful. The food was perfect and the company of my husband was even better.

The downside was that there was a Rhianna concert that night. No big deal...not our thing...but it made for an interesting night of people watching. I actually saw a woman's ass cheeks jiggling out of her shorts. I wanted to tell her but I figured she already knew, which made it even worse.

“Cover that shit up woman! No one needs to see your uncensored ass. You should wear a sign that says look at your own risk! Ass cheeks could be hazardous to your health and well being.”

Besides the plethora of underage girls trying to look like porn stars, we had a great time.  Good job being a teen idol Rhianna! Keep up the good work!

Unfortunately, we had to get back to the kids, no overnights. So, yes I would have loved to stay longer, I just knew I would be getting up around 6am with my 2 little ones. Actually, my husband ended up letting me sleep.... love him!

The weekend and so far this week have been crazy....good crazy! I have just been enjoying my family. They are all so good to me and I feel so lucky to have them!

Hope your all enjoying the summer...I’ll try to blog whenever I’m not out being AWESOME!

A Beautiful Day

This was my week of sad. I am happy to say that I have ended it short. Yesterday ended up being a great day. It’s hard when your feeling lost and all alone. I look to other people to fill the void for me, but really, I’m the only one that can do it.

I’m just putting it out there. I’m sure I’m not the only person out there that feels this way. Its a long and narrow road. One that’s difficult to travel on and pretty scary. I know if I just stay on the path, I’ll be fine. Hopefully, it will open up and lead to something amazing.

So, I’ve been able to really appreciate my children lately. I realized that they will not be this little and cute for much longer and I’m lucky enough to be with them every day. My son will break out into song randomly and start dancing to whatever music is available. Its freaking adorable! My daughter is very matter of fact about everything and usually ends up laughing at random nothings.

“Knock knock,”

“Whos there?”

“Ice cream, hahahahahahahahahahaha”

Its just funny because it makes no sense and its completely out of nowhere.

So, for now, I’m in a happy place. It’s good to be sad every once in awhile. It was nice to just feel it for once instead of pushing it away. It didn’t create any of those stomach knotting feelings. You know, when you can’t eat and you always feel like your going to throw up. Yeah, none of that, so I must be making progress.

I’m so thankful to have such a wonderful family. Without them, this journey would be a lot tougher. So, thank you.

I wish you all a beautiful day!

Just this-Take it all

At a loss.....So here is my song for the day.

Didn't I give it all?

Tried my best

Gave you everything I had

Everything and no less

Didn't I do it right

Did I let you down

Maybe you got too used to

 having me around

Still how can you walk away

From all my tears.

It's gonna be an empty road

Without me right here

But go on and take it

Take it all with you

Don't look back

At this crumbling fool

Just take it all

With my love

Take it all

With my love

Maybe I should leave

To help you see

Nothing is better than this

And this is everything we need

So is it over?

Is this really it?

 you've given up so easily?

I thought you loved me more than this

I would change if I must

Slow it down and bring it home

I will adjust.

Oh if only, if only you knew

Everything I do

Is for you

Fireworks

I seriously got my ass kicked yesterday! After a day of despair for no particular reason, immersed in sadness, I was faced with even more hurt that night. Whew, glad that day is over. I learned a lot though. I had some pretty shitty feelings to deal with but I owned them! I leaned into them and my head was clear to deal with my evening slap in the face.

I had some very serious feelings and I lead with my heart. I didn’t get to lost in emotion and I knew exactly how I felt. And for once, I wasn’t afraid. My feelings, no matter what they are, are valid and ok.

I didn’t know that before. I usually just lead with my tears and say whatever I think will make the situation better. I still had tears but I let them come when I was ready. I felt so deeply yesterday, even though it was mostly hurt, today I feel much better. Knowing that I owned my emotion and didn’t feel bad about myself was a step in the right direction. I was very proud of myself yesterday, for the first time in a long time.

I always say, “it is what it is” and it really is that simple. I have a new song for the day. Its not my normal style. When it comes to music, I like it all! I hope you enjoy it!