Share some Inspiration

Footprints in the Sand

One night I had a dream.

I dreamed I was walking along the beach
with the Lord..

Across the sky flashed scenes from my life..
For each scene, I noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand,
one belonging to me, and the other to the Lord..

When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.

This really bothered me
and I questioned the Lord about it:
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why
when I need you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied:
"My precious child, I love you and would
never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints, it was then
that I carried you."



by Mary Stevenson

So this is what I have to share with you. I am by no means religious. I grew up catholic, I guess and I'm now episcopal because of my husband, but church is on holidays. Easter and Christmas. Anyway...I wanted to throw out a little inspiration because we all need it. I need it a few times a day.

I shared this poem because it just touches me. I cried the first time I read it. I can't explain why exactly, but just to know your not alone makes me feel at peace.

So if you will.... please share an inspirational song, poem, saying, book....whatever moves you..... in my comment box. I don't know how to do the "linky" thing yet. So until then, I would love to hear what you wonderful people out there have to say while I am away. I am signing off until next week! Love and peace....have a kick ass fourth of July weekend!

The toot train!

On my day before vacation errands, we had to stop at CVS for a prescription. I go there because they have a drive through window. So I asked for the rx and was told it was there for 2 weeks and had to be put back. UGH! So now I finally get to the damn place and they don’t have what I’m looking for! It will be a half hour. Insert raspberry/Bronx cheer noise here.

I plan my outings in order of farthest from my house and on what sides of the road they are on. This one was farthest from my house and on the wrong side of the road. So I decide to continue on and go get dog food, which is on the right side of the road. Then proceed to pick up some way to expensive pottery my kids painted for fathers day, yes I know it was 2 weeks ago, also on the right side of the road. When I left, I  actually pulled right out with no traffic to stop me as I journeyed back the way I came.
I still have to get back to the house so I can meet the young man that’s going to watch our dogs. So I decided to fill up the almost full tank with gas since its on the right side of the road on my way back to CVS where they were holding my rx hostage. Did you get all that?

Back to the other side of town. I pull up to the window and there is a new woman there to greet me. As soon as she opens the window my daughter shouts that she just tooted and wanted to know if we could smell it. The woman just stared at me and I smiled.

“Ok honey, you have to be quiet while mommy’s getting the medicine.”

Which meant nothing to her. So next was “yummmm, my toot smells so good, I want to eat it!”

Seriously, did my daughter just shout that out. Thankfully we were not in the store and only the strange lady behind the glass slider was fortunate enough to witness the random outbursts my little one was serving up. The odd way she looked at me didn’t bother me a bit. Although, it was kind of funny and I’m surprised she didn’t even crack a smile. Insert Bronx cheer yet again.

I’m not easily embarrassed anymore thanks to my offspring. Usually people look at us and smile and say how cute they are....even if they are trying to eat their toots. Actually, this was my first ride on the toot train and I look forward to more outbursts on crowded streets and in stores while we are on vacation. That’s one I hope to get on video. Ready or not AFV...I’m coming for my $10,000! If only I had a built in video camera on my head, we would have won a ton of money!


Until then, only you, sweet blog readers, will be blessed with the antics of my children. Your welcome!

Whew!

Thanks for the good vibes! Our A/C filter was just clogged! Whew. I feel much better now. Anyway, my children and I had another successful coupon extravaganza! I saved $81. Woohoo! Or as my son would say... “yee ha boys”. I have no idea where he gets his sayings from, but it sounds so cute.

Shop rite is my new couponing store. Well, my only couponing store since I just started really doing it last week. I have to say, it has certainly paid off. My total was $92.00 after the store card was swiped... I only paid $ $61. I missed the “retail” value which must have appeared as my children were randomly saying hi to people 10 times. One hi just isn’t enough, 10 Hi’s and bye’s seem to work for them.

A random old man said hi back to them and was like “don’t talk to strangers.” Ha, I forgot about that one. I just say my kids are friendly. At least for now, they are always with me when we encounter strangers, I’ll have to work on that before they start kindergarten. Ugh, actually, I love that they are so nice to EVERYONE! They don’t discriminate. They genuinely are just sweet to all people. That’s one of my favorite things about them. I’ll have to find my own way to tell them about “stranger danger”.

Why does their have to be so many creepers out there? I want to smack them all. Well, they are hard to spot. Most of the people I would never approach end up being the sweetest of the bunch. Let’s not judge a book by its cover. Yes, we’ve all done it, but I’ve learned my lesson and I hope you do too.

So for now, I have food spilling out of my pantry and vacation is on Friday! With the   A/C issue taken care of, I am getting happier by the second! It’s been a tough week but its going to have a very happy ending! I can’t wait.

I shall miss you all. I’ll have to bring a notebook and my favorite pink pen with me to jot down the random mishaps that always happen on our vacations. It’s what makes them memorable. I’ll be back tomorrow and I’ll try to leave a little text challenge for you to work on while I’m away. I hope you participate! Maybe I’ll have to think of a new clever sumptin’ sumptin’ for you to wrap your heads around. We shall see.

Adios muchachas!

Send some love

I need some love today and happy thoughtsThere is a huge puddle surrounding my furnace/central air thingie yet again! At least its not the hot water heater! Seems to be the Central air. So to start, we have to pay a man just to look at it. We leave on Friday for a much needed family vacation. So happy to deal with this right now.

So if you could just send some good vibes....hoping this wont cost a ton of money, that would be awesome! I'll let you know how it goes later. It's one of those, "we will call you in the morning and let you know when we will be out there."

 Great, so much for planning my day. I was super organized, getting the car cleaned out, doing ALL of the laundry and folding it. Still in piles, but I have to pack it...no reason to put it all in drawers. Right?!

I wish you all an amazing day and I'm going to send out some good vibes too! Hope to be posting sooner than later on the status of the basement.

10 Things to make me smile

So I read a blog today, The Mommy Therapy, and today’s post was 10 things that make me smile. It came from another mommy blogger trying to spread some love. With the funk I’ve been in, mother nature stalking me and this unforgiving head cold, smiling might just be the medicine I need. So let’s see what I can whip up.



1.My Son

As I write, he is laying at my feet sleeping on the hardwood floor. I can smell that he pooped, but I can’t decide if I should wake him up. I will write this then do the dirty deed. No matter what I do during the day or how annoyed I am at any one of a million things, he always has something funny or cute to say. Even his random... “Iew, stinky poot” makes me smile. Poot is my son’s word for poop. The voice, the sweet face and lack of ability to annunciate is just precious and melts my heart.

2.My Daughter

I know, a bit clichae but my kids really do make me smile. She gets so mad sometimes that she stomps out of the room and tells me “this is unacceptable and ridiculous” then she threatens me with a time out if I don’t stop telling her what to do. Ah, I can’t even be mad. I will remember these times when she does the same thing only she’s a teenager and it’s not so cute.

3.My Husband

Yep, it had to be next. I can’t help it, I am in love with my family. They drive me crazy but bring me the most joy. Now, when I watch my husband with my children I always smile. His patience and kindness inspire me to be a more patient and kind individual. I am almost 30 and I have learned so much from him. His voice in the middle of a scream filled day instantly calms me. He still calls me when he gets to work and during his lunch. I’m addicted.

4.Ah the tickets

If you didn’t read, I lost our amazing red sox tickets. The sweet ticket man printed us out a new ticket so we could go. However, while I was losing my mind over our lost ticket I fell in love with my husband all over again. Money, tickets, fathers day...it didn’t matter to him. He just brushed it off and was ready to hit the streets and have a nice dinner. Love that! That will keep me smiling for years!

5. Celebrating Mother’s day

My husband took the kids and let me travel to my hometown to have brunch with my mom, aunt and cousin. We had the best time EVER! Simple but sooo fun. It’s been a long time since I could relax and hang with some of my favorite ladies!

6. My favorite white pants

I have had them for years and they always fit. They are super comfy and look fantastic.

7. The pink pen

I am a little pen picky. I only like ball point. So my daughter has this cute pink pen with pink feathers on the top. I randomly used it one day since all my other pens were lost in the void where they keep the pens and socks. I feel in love instantly. Then the other day, I caught the dog chewing on it! Have mercy puppy! Luckially, no harm done, but, the pink feathers were chewed.

8. Blogging

I am new to blogging. It’s been about a month and a half and whew, what a load off. It’s like an instant community full of friends that just get it. It seems that all of us mommy bloggers ban together and support one another. Seriously, just what I needed! Thank you ladies for saving my sanity!

9. The phone

Not the actual phone, and usually, I’m not a big phone talker. But...I know that I can always pick it up and call my mom. Yes, I know, sad but true. I still talk to my mom almost every day. I like knowing that I can just pick up the phone and she will be there to talk me through my emotional drama and isn’t afraid to tell me what I need to hear. Sometimes I need a good slap, or just a voice telling me to knock it off. She helps me see the brighter side of life.

10. This Realization

While thinking of things that made me happy, I was sad to realize that I could hardly think of anything except my family. It seems I look to them for my happiness when I should really be looking inside myself and at the things around me. How sad is it when a person can think of at least 50 things that make them unhappy and barely come up with 10 things that make them smile. Whats up with that? Well thank you for this activity, while I wanted to make it clever and silly, some soul searching took place instead. I’m going to have to do this at least once a week and hopefully some much needed smiling will come from it!

Big Mom Baby

I’m not sure what it is. I’m in a mood today and was yesterday too. Maybe mother nature is knocking at my door. So, as I said earlier, my daughters 4th birthday was today. We went out all day doing fun kid friendly things. Children's museum, Chucky Cheese, a visit to Mi ma, pick any toy at Target, Pizza and Ice cream cake.

So, I know I’m being a big “mom baby” but my daughter asked me to leave when we were at my mother-in-laws house so they could have fun. She was dead ass.
“Mom, could you please leave so we can have fun.” Not just once, but several times. She finally let it go, but was not pleased that I would be hanging around.

I was a little hurt. Am I not fun? Do I not know how to get down and dirty like a four year old? Of course, I’m the one who has to discipline, but to hear that I’m no fun kind of bothered me. Then, we are reading books in bed and my kids want nothing to do with me. Daddy’s home. They wouldn’t let me read books and cried when I told daddy he could go downstairs. I don’t even know what to say except I personally feel like a five year old and wanted to stomp and cry as I walked out of the bedroom.

It super sucks that you do anything and everything, then you hear, your no fun and I want daddy. Ugh! He is a kick ass dad, but aren’t I a kick ass mom? I don’t really feel like one at the moment. So I appreciate you reading my bitch fest. I wonder if all mothers feel like this or if I’m just being a big baby. I would like to have a tantrum every once in a while. Kicking and screaming....”everybody hates me!” Oh, well. So blogging it is.

If you feel like kicking and screaming...please do so in my comment box...I would LOVE to hear it! I hope I’m not alone in this. If I am, god help me to grow up and be a better mother.

Weekend Review

Saturday was my daughters birthday party. It all went off without a hitch. Typical kids party then had family back to the house. I felt horrible, but I made it through. Saturday night, my husband went out after the kids fell asleep. A much needed break after birthday party chaos. So what did I do? First I raided the kitchen for some left over sweets. Once I was in a pretty solid cupcake coma, I looked for any chic flick that I could find while I had a few hours to myself. Nothing. I couldn’t find ANYTHING to watch! I usually dvr movies to watch when my husband goes out but I wasn’t in the mood for anything I had. I finally searched on demand. Just the free premium channels, HBO Showtime, you know. AH, Burlesque. Christina Aguleria and Cher star in this racy movie. What the hell. I pushed play and off I went on my chic flick journey.

Well, all I have to say about “Burlesque” is BLAH! If I could insert a sound effect of the “Bronx Cheer” I would. What a piece of crap! Hey Christina, you can blow (sing) but lets stick to what your good act. Acting isn’t it! I’m not a big fan of Cher either. Her singing voice is very strange and I just don’t like it. Besides all that, the movie was just like every other crappy romantic, girls got nothing and turns herself into something movie! Um, “Coyote Ugly” is ringing a bell. Girl moves from a small town,  gets robbed, has no where to go. Forces herself into this job, falls in love with the hot bartender and is a huge “burlesque” success. Blah, blah, blah! I clearly do NOT recommend it. It was about 2 hours long and I want my time back! What a waste!

Sunday wasn’t any better. I have been sick for a few days so my husband let me lay down and took care of everything! I found a “Mob Wives” marathon. I’ve seen this show once and it’s not that great, but it is pretty hilarious! The women are from Staten Island and all of their men are either in jail or about to go to jail. The girls just fight and bitch constantly and what comes out of their mouths is just funny!

“She just made me come out of my face!” is pretty common and one of my favorites. They are so serious when they say this random crap too. One of the girls called the other one a twat neck. Really, that's clever. So I watched it ALL day. They sucked me in with their non-sensical rambling and catty fighting. Good times.

Today is my daughters actual birthday, she is four! Where does the time go? So, I’m going to bring her somewhere to celebrate. She is not very happy about it just being her little brother and I. I still feel like crap and I don’t want to infect any other little ones. I’m not really sure what to do but I will not be on the computer. My girl needs some attention today....all day! She deserves it. I’m sure we will encounter some random silliness on our outing. I’ll let you know how in goes. In the meantime, please enjoy your day! It looks beautiful where I am, so get out there and have some fun!

Feature of the week!

So, while perusing blogs from Top mommy blogs the humor section of course, I found this one... A Bitch Called Mom. The name says it all and I am now....a follower. So sad, I follow so many of you bloggers. I like to think of myself as more of a leader than a follower, but what the hell. You follow me....I follow you....I get it.

Oh, and by the way, I have had NO page views today! NONE! WTH! Ok, ok, I'm feeling a little under the weather. My daughters birthday party was today. I guess since there really is nothing to read, I wouldn't look either. Sigh...woe is me. I'm a blog slacker! On that note, check out the link.... I think your going to like it!

 Don't take things to personally.... have a little fun.... smile! My little mantra for you. Have a kick ass weekend!

Crazy coupon lady

Now, as much as I wanted some grumpy old man to snub me and make rude comments so I could come back here and make it funny, I just wasn’t that lucky today. We went to shop rite in a town filled with old people, no offense to the senior citizens out there, its just a fact. The town has a huge over 55 community and is filled with antique stores. I actually drove past the shop rite because it just blended in with the other plaza stores and in no way looked like a grocery store plaza. That’s just how they roll in that town. No drive trough's and everything has to look all nice and uniform. I appreciate it but still, I had to turn around for the 3 times before I finally found my way.

Anyway, my children are extremely friendly and my daughter thinks I know everyone. Who was that mama? What’s her name? Then she gets frustrated when I tell her I don’t know. My son, who I now let walk with me instead of keeping him strapped down to the cart, says “hi” to everyone....everyone. Which is kind of nice. Who could be mean to the cutest 2 year old ever! No one. Not the snotty old woman by the onions or the cranky man thumbing through his newspaper. I randomly talk to people too, but they are not always so nice to me. With 2 adorable little ones in tow, I could do no wrong. This was also my first shopping trip with ALOT of coupons. Meaning, more than 10.

I realize with all the “extreme couponing” going on that’s nothing, but I was very happy with the results. So, now that we know everyone in the store, customers and employees, it’s checkout time. I start to shake, for no good reason at all. I’m not going to have some astronomical bill and only have 100 to spend. I guess I just thought it was nice that I bought baileys creamer, which I love, for .34 and a box of corn pops....not for the kids just me....for .44, I don’t let my kids eat that crap! It was little things like that and it made me kind of nervous. My bill came to $149.00 and I paid $115. Not crazy coupon savings, but awesome for me! Usually, I pay the $149, but not today. Sorry shop rite, it’s on now. I’m already equipped with my coupons for next week. It’s not even Sunday! Those coupons will be a bonus!

So here is a killer website if you want to save some money and don’t feel like spending hours on the computer or digging through trash for extra ones.

When we left the store, my children said “bye” to EVERYONE! It was super cute. Then when I started loading up my car a random woman that we saw about 4 times in the store came up to me and told me what wonderful sweet children I have and how she hopes her baby girl will be at least half as sweet as my kids. Ha, if she could hear them now. Screaming and fighting over nothing. What a day. Hope yours was as good as mine! Have an amazing weekend! TGIF!

Rhinovirus

The rain has brought back....the funk. Not in a good way. My daughters birthday is tomorrow and I have a million things to do. Of course, why not wait till’ the last minute to do everything. Actually, I’m exaggerating. I just have to go to the store for those last minute items. Table cloth, burgers and hot dogs, juice boxes and party favors. I never know what to put in those little bags to thank the other kids for coming to the party. That's what they’re for right? Little trinkets made of cheap plastic that gets thrown away before they enter the house. What a waste. I think sidewalk chalk is the way to go. My neighbor did that and I thought it was a great idea.

I seriously need a tanning bed. I’m not usually a tanner, anymore, but with the kids being sick and the rain constantly bombarding my world, some days, I don’t even bother opening the curtains. I didn’t shower until 4pm yesterday. Today, I’m showered and ready for our shopping extravaganza. However, with two runny noses at my heels, I’m not sure how that will go. I’ll be the irresponsible parent that brings out her sniffling germ laden little ones. I do know that once the cold has been in full force, it’s not as contagious as the few days before it hit. The rhinovirus aka common cold. Here’s a little snippet of info from Wikipedia....your welcome.

Looks like they may still be contagious...what’s a girl to do. I’ll toy with the idea but it’s been at least 4 days now. I’ll holster the purell and quick draw it when necessary. Watch your back germs, mama’s had just about enough!

So we will see what kind of charades I get myself into today. I’m thinking some good blogging is in my future. Target, Shop rite, the sky’s the limit. I’m stocked up with coupons, I’m a beginner, so lets see how it goes. I hope your day goes well. May sunshine be in your future, it doesn’t look like its in mine for until at least Monday! If you could send some my way, that would rock my world!

Facebook slackers

So I will randomly read peoples facebook status’s. Usually of people I haven’t seen or talked to in forever. I’m just curious, my husband would call it nosey but paint me any color you want. I don’t mind. My point is that I think its funny. People actually post that they are about to watch tv or are watching tv and it’s not working. How about, on their way home to watch some stupid tv. Guess what, we don’t care! Well, I guess I kind of do because I always go and look to see if the same person is still posting the same crap. Yep. Sure is. Oh, you dvred some lame ass show and then your going to watch it. Woohoo....that sounds AWESOME. I’m so glad you posted that for all of your friends, or lack there of to see.  You might want to keep that crap to yourself.

Now there are some people on facebook that are absolutely hilarious! They let us know what they are up to or bitch about whatever sucks during their day, while still being funny and interesting. Thank you clever facebook posters! Please direct the previous boring facebook posters to your page. Hey, watch all the tv you want, slackers, we just dont need to know how boring your life is. If you must tell us, have a heart and make it fun to read would ya?!

Thanks for listening. I guess it’s sad that I read anything on facebook and now I’m blogging about it. Hum....some food for thought.

Blah

Kids are sick. No big deal, just colds and just enough to make them grumpy. Waiting for the safelite man to come and fix my husbands windshield for the THIRD time! They were actually going to send the original "master of the windshield" out AGAIN! Seriously, they need to get their shit together. Luckily, my husband is at work and wont know about this debacle until he reads this. I took care of it and FINALLY, they are sending the real "Master" to our house. After the 18 year old came the second time and crapped up the window, I had second thoughts about using this company! I doubt we ever will again.

So, just a sweet good morning to my readers. I am disappointed with the text talk turnout and I am going to see what I can do to get more people involved. Prizes? Rewards? A gold medal? Instant gratification from yours truly for being clever and awesome? The skys the limit and I hope to be uber clever this time. Hummmm.... it may be a few weeks. I'm going on vacation next weekend, July 4th. I will have no computer access. What ever shall I do! 5 days of no blogging! I'll be back with an entire book to post. So stay tuned.

Well, if you have any ideas or requests for the text talk challenges or if you just want to leave me a comment, please do! They make me all warm and fuzzy inside! Nice to know your out there, loving or hating my antics. Ho hum....I think I hear a truck in my driveway. Lets see how it goes. I'm still in sweats....no I don't care!

No funk today!

 I decided to take the kids for a little walk today. After the gym this morning, I grabbed them out of daycare and drove to the other side of the campus. Our gym is located in the back of a huge campus that used to house mental patients. All the creepy dilapidated buildings are still there, just empty. It’s kind of cool and very weird all at the same time. Anyway, since I was in a super funk for no good reason yesterday, I decided I wasn’t going to let that happen today! I thought some bonding time with the kids would do the trick.

We found our way to a small parking lot filled with about 8 cars. We unloaded and started walking. I had no idea where this led to but we would soon find out. My daughter  is already whining about what we are doing.
“Ugh, mom, are we just.....walking?! I’m tired.”
Yes, walking, what a concept. I had to pretend we were explorers searching for “something”. My daughters first choice for the something was an ice cream store. I had to remind her of what kinds of things we might find in the woods and she remembered that bugs could be found outside. She’s not a big bug fan. After a few kicks and screams, we were back to our exploration in search of the unknown.

Our first encounter was with a 65-70 year old man. I saw him slowly trot from the woods behind him and I got nervous. We hadn’t seen any other passer Byers, so I immediately put my keys between my fingers, my make shift brass knuckles, and prepared for whatever this old timer was going to dish out. As he approached, my 2 year old son ran to him to say hello. He was graciously given a good morning and 2 high fives. Good thing I was ready, he could have turned any minute. Obviously, I didn’t grow up in the best town. Where we live now is quite a change for me. People wave at you and say hello in the grocery stores. They don’t give you the finger for looking in their direction or shove you out of their way to get down a narrow grocery isle. It’s only been a year and a half. I’m sure it will take some time.

We walked about a mile or so on a black concrete road leading through “the forest” as my daughter put it. It was lovely! My daughter finally stopped whining and my son had to yell HI at people hundreds of yards away from us. He didn’t stop saying hello until they finally said it back and passed by us. People call him the mayor with good reason. Once we turned around to travel back to the car, I heard a loud rumbling. It could’ve been the back hoe taking down one of the crumbling buildings. We walked on. A loud crash and more rumbling. “what’s that loud noise mommy?” “Thats thunder baby.”

I reminded them that if the sky opens up and throws its rain on us, it’s just water. You always want to play in the rain, so here’s your chance. I am now walk/running with my son on my back while making sure my daughter could still keep up. I don’t particularly enjoy wearing soaking wet clothes. We made it to the car and as soon as I loaded the kids and shut the doors, down it came. Thanks for looking out universe. It would have made for a funnier story though.

That's all my kids will allow me to write for now. I’ll try to post a little something later.

Text Challenge Answer

The answer to the text challenge is:  Gotta Go I Smell Poop

Thank you so much for playing. I think my favorite guess was Good God I'm So Pregnant. You crack me up! I'll have a new post tomorrow for this weeks Text Challenge. I hope we have more participants!

I Lost the Tickets!

I’m not sure where I should begin. Yesterday, my husband and I went to a Boston Red Sox game. A friend of his has season tickets and they are pretty much right on the field. My husband had intended to bring his father, since it was fathers day, but he was unable to attend due to a very hectic work schedule. So, I went in his place. WOOHOO! I’ve been to a Yankee game before in the nosebleed section where you need binoculars to see anything! I didn’t even know you could drink beer at the stadium. So sad, I know.

So we drive a few hours, stop for gas and of course I had to pee. I was in charge of the amazing tickets which stayed in my wallet. Well, except when I used one to punch directions in to the GPS. Apparently, the ticket never made it back into my wallet. Yep, I lost the ticket.

When we got to the stadium, we paid some kind of ridiculous amount to park and I hauled ass to the front gates. Yes, I had to pee AGAIN! I open my bag, pull out my over sized black wallet that safely housed out “golden” tickets without bending them and what do I see.... 1 ticket. But how! They were right here! We had them both in the car! I only took 1 out to get the address! Now I start to hyperventilate and run back to our car. It has to be there. I bypass the parking attendants and tell them I have my own key.

I rip open the door and pull apart my car. It has to be somewhere! I had them in the car! I took one out for a second, didn’t I put it right back in my wallet?! Its not there. Now I start to think I left it out and the evil parking guy took it. I was about to make him empty his pockets. My husband talked me down. I freaked out. The ticket was no where. I looked everywhere about five times. Nothing! I threw some stuff away when we stopped to get gas, apparently, my ticket went too. OMG! I ruined our amazing day! No kids, awesome seats, beer....Gone! Now I’m about to pass out.

So what does my husband say. “It’s ok honey, it’s just a baseball game. Lets go grab some food. No big deal.” WHAT?! NO BIG DEAL! We had box seats! ON the field! Not that we are crazy baseball fans, but you can’t just get those! You have to know someone, or kill someone, you know. I’m obviously exaggerating, but you get where I’m going with this. I refuse....I will not be defeated! I’m finding that ticket! This can’t be the end of it.

So we grill the parking people that barely speak English. Then I search the lot for any sign of the illusive ticket. Nada. My husband is still trying to calm me down and directs me to a bathroom. I still have to pee. Maybe I’ll throw up too. I can’t believe I did this!

My husband is all fine and good. I have never experienced this. Yell at me, be mad, something. Please, don’t let me get off this easy. He just hugged me and told me everything was going to be fine. There will be other games. Lets just get a drink and some food. REALLY?! At that moment I realized.... this is love. Right here, right now. All I could think of was that poem or whatever it is they read at weddings. “Love is patient, Love is kind”.

I personally define love as words. I always want my husband to spill his guts and tell me how much he loves me. That’s what I do. I write cards, letters, I talk his ear off telling him how much I love him. I was actually in the car on the way there trying to get him to say something, anything about how much he loves me. He always says I love you and agrees with my “love rants”. Honestly, he’s just not the type of guy to say those things. It’s not his style.

I learned yesterday that words are just words. If they aren’t backed up with genuine love and compassion they mean nothing. I will never question my husbands love, ever. I’m pretty dramatic and we’ve been through some tough times. Who hasn’t. I have, once or twice, wondered if he still felt that way about me. That crazy love we had where no words could have described it. It was a feeling that couldn’t be explained. You would only understand the feeling if you’ve experienced it yourself. If you did, you would just get it.

We still have it. Life is crazy, we have two kids and two dogs, but its there and it always has been. I don’t know if I would have been so understanding if he had lost a ticket. I probably would have huffed and puffed and helped him look and then accepted it. I have all the words. I could write him a poem, but do I show him compassion? So many times.... no.....no I don’t.

So, I’m glad that happened yesterday. The experience opened my eyes to what love REALLY is. I will never forget that day. I will never forget what I learned from my husband. He is truly a gift.

We made it to the game by the way. After all that, we went to the ticket services counter and showed the man our lone ticket. He made a few calls and printed us out a new one. “No big deal, it happens.” That's what he said to me. I cried. The guy laughed, but I couldn’t believe it! I think I embarrassed my husband a little, but he understood.

 He never made me feel bad about my mistake. He just had my back. We were literally 4 rows back from the field. I could see the sweat on the players. It was AWESOME! I couldn’t believe my husband wasn’t even mad at me for almost missing this. “It’s just a game honey, don’t sweat the small stuff.” He’s right.

Away I go

I just wanted to send out a little post to let you know I will not be blogging tomorrow. I will be away all day! So, I will let the text challenge go until monday and hope I get some more guesses. Anyway... after a whole day out, I'm sure I'll have some good blogging on Monday! Enjoy your families and again I say HAPPY FATHERS DAY! I hope your "babys daddy" is as good as mine!

Featured Blogger

I will be busy this weekend, celebrating the amazing father of my children. We will be away tomorrow so I will announce the winner of the text challenge this evening, or maybe I will let it go until Monday since we have very few participants.

My featured blogger this week is actually my mother. She is one amazing woman and she wrote a blog today that I want to share with all of you. I'm sure many of us can relate. Also, the clip she put up is from the movie, "Grace of my heart" and amazing movie that I would highly recommend.

Have a wonderful, fun filled amazing weekend. Happy Fathers Day!

Foreclosed Upon

No Food, No fun

Did you ever want to just slam in to someone with your shopping cart? Well, today while I was at target, that’s exactly what I wanted to do. I went out today feeling very hungry. When I haven’t eaten I get a little crazy. I grabbed an apple before I left the house which was taken from me by my daughter. So, I was running on empty and after coming up empty handed at Michaels craft store, for fathers day knick knacks, I thought I would hit up target.

So everyone was at the “Fathers day” card section. We’re all slackers. No one would move their carts and people were just crowded around the cards like they were about to sell out. I found the FOUR cards I needed, yes FOUR, and got the hell out of there. My daughters birthday party is next weekend so I decided to get a head start on some goodies.

As I’m about to turn down the isle a woman goes right in front of me and stops. She decides to turn and yell at her son to hurry up. Then she just stands there waiting for him while he fondles the toys and completely ignores her. Now she’s pissed and will not just move out of the way. I want to yell “don’t just stand there, go swipe his ass up and get the hell out of my way!”

Does she even see me patiently waiting to go down the isle. Plotting to myself how I’m going to slam this cart into her huge thigh and hope she moves! Still standing there waiting for her little angel. Really, not even a glance or a oh, sorry. Nope. I would normally say something and just push through, but my mind was racing and my stomach was growling so animal instincts were in full throttle. All I could think was how badly I wanted to shove her out of my way with my monsterous red carriage and not send a message to my children that its alright to hit. By the time I was done talking to myself, she was gone and I was free to move down the isle.

I know that sounds incredibly mean, but when I’m hungry, that’s how I roll. As I browse through the store for this and that, I am wondering what I can buy to shove in my face as soon as we get in the car. Nothing looks good and I want everything. I just have to get the essentials I need until my “big” shopping trip. Goldfish, pretzels, buns, swim vest, you know, the usual. Then I hear, “Mommy, I have to pee”. Of course you do. So we haul ass to the other side of the store and someone is in the bathroom. We use the target bathroom by the pharmacy, usually, its a better choice....not today.

I hear a flush and expect someone to walk out in a minute or two. Then, I hear the water. A few minutes later, the super Xcelerator dryer. Still, no one has emerged and I’m wondering what I have to look forward to once its our turn. Finally, the door is opening. Oh shit....literally..... a very large male target employee walks out. I think I saw some sweat on his brow. Do I dare? Do I have a choice? Quick, lets just do it, we don’t have time to run to the front of the store.

My daughter walks in and immediately plugs her nose. I’m trying to take small breaths and begin rethinking my potty choice. It smelled like an actual cow walked into that bathroom and let loose. Am I going to pass out? I got this. She is already pants down on the potty. Gross, no time to clean it off. I actually purelled her butt when she was done. Yuck. We did what we came to do, now off to the checkout.

When I got to the car I was so hungry I ransacked the bags to find anything to eat. The kids wanted fruit snacks, but that just sounded gross. I actually considered making a sandwich with a hamburger bun and salsa. No, that would be to messy. Frozen chicken nuggets, absolutely not, but my choices were limited. Goldfish are a hot commodity around here so I didn’t want to waste them. I would have taken down the whole bag. So I wait. Drive home in a I need food coma and down 2 hotdogs upon entering the house. Whew, I think I’ll call it a day. No good comes when mama’s hungry.

Just an aside

Um, I was trying to thank someone for following my blog. I, being the computer whiz that I am, then managed to "follow" my own blog. Hum, that looks kind of silly and I have no idea how to un-follow my site. Well, I guess if I want other people to follow me, I should do it too right? I feel like a complete idiot and any computer skills I thought I had, just flew right out the window. Hope you all enjoy my idiocy and get a good laugh, I did.

I have a few more laughs to get out about today, however my children are starving and according to my daughter, me being on the computer is, and I quote "absolutely unsusseptable and ridiciloss."  It's so funny because she can't pronounce them correctly. I did my best to help you understand exactly how she sounds, but I doubt I did her the complete justice she deserves. It's so cute that I can't even be mad. Which is why I must go now and leave you in suspense.

Did you do the text talk?! Why NOT....do I have to start selling my soul to get you to participate? It could be VERY funny! Don't make me beg....please!

Text Talk Challenge #1

So let's see what you do with this one. Remember, come up with as many forms of this as you can and post it in my comments. For challenge directions, see text talk...my previous post. Thanks for playing!

This weeks challenge is:     GGISP

It's probably a little easy, but it's the first one. Good luck!

Text Talk: The Challenge

I  simply do NOT understand text talk. I am a frequent texter, but I don’t usually shorten my words/phrases. I guess I write an e-mail in my text. I use punctuation and spell most things out. I occasionally use the letter u for you, but that is the extent of my texting abbreviations. I do think that some of these texting acronyms are quite clever but have confused them several times leading to somewhat inappropriate texts or just plain confusion.

So in honor of our new found texting world, which I don’t particularly agree with, I have decided to think of a new acronym each week. I will come of with some letters and their meaning. Then I will ask all of you to come up with your own version of the set challenge and post it in the comment box.

At the end of the week, I will announce what I had originally intended the phrase to be. It could be any set of letters and they may also already exist. Chances are they will. Some weeks their may be 3 letters LOL - laugh out loud, and some weeks their may be more. I’m not listing any because I can’t think of one that already exists....oh wait, from my old school rapper music days.... CREAM: Cash Rules Everything Around Me.... yep, I know that one... wow, I’m so not a fan of rap anymore. Its funny what you remember. I will post my challenge later today. I would normally like it to begin on Monday and end on Sunday. I realize that today is Thursday, but I just can’t wait. Lets start it today and end on Sunday, 8pm. After that, I will post my version and also my favorite “your” version.

You are all so clever I can’t wait to see what you come up with! Feel free to post more than one! There are no rules, that I can think of yet. If we ever need them, I’ll let you know!

Good Luck!

Inglorious Bastard

I had the pleasure of pulling a tick out of my 2.5 year old sons leg. I found it while changing his diaper since it had weaseled its way right under the thin side of it on his upper thigh. That inglorious little bastard! I was mortified that a tiny, disgusting, creepy tick found my son to feed on!

When I found it, I thought that it was a little scab. Then I realized that it was a devil bug that could possibly be carrying a life altering disease. Tick, I will F you up! I had learned from my sons school that to remove a tick you should wet a cotton ball with warm water and soap and then apply it to the area where the tick had bore a hole in to your child’s body. Well, that wasn’t exactly how they put it, but that’s what I got from it. So, a paper towel was what I had and I applied this concoction to his leg.

It actually worked. This parasite finally backed its ass up out of my son. It’s wiggly barbed like jowls were still embedded into my sons flesh, so I had to tug a few times before it finally released its death grip. Whew, all in one piece and the bastard was still alive. I wanted to rip every leg from its body and hack it's head off! Instead, I double bagged it so it could be tested.

I called the doctor, just in case, who will do nothing unless my son starts to show signs and symptoms of lymes disease. So, lets wait until its to late, hope he even gets that bulls eye rash, that not everyone gets, and try to decipher if a 2 year old is tired and having joint pain in the next few months. Thanks doc. for all of your expertise. I’ll have my husband do all the dirty work. He is going to take the tick to the pathology lab himself.

I’m not that mom that runs to the doctor every time they cough or sniffle, but Lyme's disease is no joke. My sons pediatrician also said that even if the tick tests positive for Lyme's that doesn’t mean they will treat him. I realize it’s probably no big deal and the tick wasn’t really engorged. Ugh, but, I’m more of a “better safe than sorry” kind of girl so that kind of pissed me off. Thanks again for caring. I wonder what they would do if it was their child. I’ll give you three guesses, but you’ll only need one. I should’ve asked them that but I doubt I would’ve gotten the truth.

It was a fun filled afternoon and now I feel like bugs are crawling on me. I’m all skeeved out and I keep checking the double bagged bastard. It’s still in there, crawling around. I’m afraid that he will sneak out and find it’s way to my son again or my daughter. YUCK! I wish you all a tick free summer!

Damit Dr. Oz

This morning I went to the gym for the second time. I decided that the elliptical would be my ride of choice. So on I went to flip through the channels and I prayed I would find something interesting enough to keep my attention. Dr. Oz, woohoo, I never get to watch and usually I dvr it and try to fit it in whenever I can. Not today, I got a whole hour to myself. So of course, its all about sex over 40. That's all great and good but I’m not even 30 yet. I watched anyway just to see what I had to look forward to.

As they talk about the 40 year old vagina they also have a cadaver piece of one for our viewing pleasure. A very old one. I look around to see if anyone is looking at the unsightly crotch that is now taking over my screen. I see a few men scattered on the treadmills and a lot of women that are clearly well over 40 swinging on those gazelle pony things, but so far, no dirty looks my way. Then I hear an echo on my headphones. I feel a little embarrassed as it is with pictures of old wrinkly vagina's on my screen and now I’m worried that I have some kind of defective headphones and everyone can hear the dirty talk coming from my tv.

Nope. It’s not my headphones. I look to my right and see that there is a huge tv on the wall shouting out the profanities from the dr. Oz show. The older women are staring in amazement and I pray that the poor men are tuned in to something, anything on their tv that will save them from this horrific sight of sagging woman parts. If they don’t have it at home already, this is what they have to look forward to. It may paint to bad of a picture and some men may never come back from that one. It irked me a bit and I’m a girl! I had to flip to The Doctors. They were at least talking about sex, regular sex, for tonight! No age, no unsightly lady parts, just 40 tips to better sex. That's more my style.

 Thank you Dr. Oz for showing me the horror that I have to look forward to. Dry, sagging, wrinkling blah blah blah. No more, I’ve been scarred enough already. He also did a demonstration using a bowling ball as a penis and if you hit the bowling pins you had an orgasm. Then he had 2 bumpers that were our vagina's. He moved the bumpers closer as the demo went on to show what happens as you get older. The ball could not get to the pins! WTF! No Orgasm! Just kill me now. I don’t want to be around for that. I didn’t stay around to hear the “cure” if there is one. Once you start comparing penis’s with bowling balls, I have to draw the line. Dammit, I’ll just worry about it when I’m 40.

So to all my lady’s out there, good night and good orgasms!

p.s.- I hope I didn’t offend anyone with this. My apologies now... just in case!

The Truth about My Husband

Contrary to what I may have written in the past, my husband is pretty kick ass. We joke a lot and banter with each other, most of the time. It keeps things interesting. So while we have fun bitching about one another he is truly my best friend. He is also the only person that can truly appreciate my Bubble Guppie dance. It’s pretty cute. I tell him everything and he always helps me with any dilemma I may have put myself in. He’s strong where I am weak. I guess that’s how its supposed to be so check that off my list. He takes care of the kids when he is home, plays with them, wrestles with them, gives them time outs... you know, dad stuff. When he is around mom is useless. Yep, they want nothing to do with anything “mom”. Its all about daddy. My son wont even let me give him ice cream. Seriously, I cannot even bribe my child to want me. Its all good, I see how it is.

I think I’m just jealous that he gets to go to work all day and have adult conversations with actual adults. I try to have adult conversations with my kids and they just end up asking a million questions. I’ve learned to keep it simple. They are only 3 just be patient. Also, when he gets home, as early as he can to spend some time with us, I all but jump to put the kids in their pj’s and throw them in bed. “I know it’s only 6:30 but it’s been a long day.”  The sound of the garage door opening, even if they were remotely sleepy, gives them an instant second wind. I need some daddy time too damit!

He is so patient with them. He speaks calmly to them and they always listen. By the time he gets home, I am over the calm talk and have a take no shit kind of attitude. A dirty look or eye roll will give you an immediate warning and a rude comment....right to the time out chair. Not daddy, he is just sweet and loving, which makes me feel even worse. Lets see how he does after 12 hours of kids. Not so calm now. Actually, he would probably still keep it together and then go outside for a LONG walk with the dogs. He’s so good that way.

I on the other hand let everyone know exactly whats on my mind and hold nothing in! Good and bad. You always know where I stand and what I’m thinking.... weather you like it or not. It is what it is.

Back to my other half. He gets up at 5:30am and gets home roughly 14 hours later. He works his ass off so I can stay home with our children. Still, he does laundry...I can hear the gasps already.... dishes, cooks, (better than me I might add, that is also NOT to his advantage) takes out the trash, takes care of our 2 dogs (like when they have an accident) I have been known to cover it with a paper towel until he gets home. He says things like, "honey you look like you need a break, why don't you go out with the girls for awhile." That would also save him from my 12 hours with kids mommy wrath. It all works out. Our house could be in shambles, it usually is, and he'll still find something nice to say like, thanks for emptying the dishwasher or the living room looks good. Oh, he's an amazing painter too. Like the house, not a masterpiece. You get the point. Now go show your husbands so they get all pissy.

 He painted the kids play room and made it look so easy, I thought I would try it. Yeah, not really my thing. I was trying to surprise him by painting the bathroom, but instead I painted weird lines at the top of the room with random spots of paint on the ceiling. I even used that special painters tape. Oops, my bad.  So instead of helping he had to fix my mistakes AND paint the bathroom all over....twice! Hey, it’s the thought that counts right?

Every once in awhile we get a moment to ourselves which is spent drinking heavily (he makes his own beer and it is sooooo GOOD) and watching a wide array of our favorite comedies. Like, Forgetting Sarah Marshall or Wedding Crashers. Recently, we have been watching I love you man or the hangover, but we pretty much have about 10 movies that we rotate through. I will list them later. We’re kind of picky so to add a new movie to the bunch, it better be pretty damn funny!

Now on the off chance that we actually pay a babysitter to watch our kids for a night on the town, we don’t even know what to do. We usually go out to a nice restaurant, the same one... we don’t want to waste time and money on a shotty restaurant. Our few hours spent with no kids is precious. We like to stick with what we know. Then we talk about seeing a movie but usually wait for it to come out on netflix. Our couch is way cozier than the seats at the movies and we can wear our sweatpants! Thats the seller for me anyway.

Popcorn is also a lot cheaper at the grocery store. Seriously, prices at the movies are REDONKULOUS! Nothing else for us lazy americans to do, so we all pay it.... me included....not frequently but I get bored to. So lets go and sit for 2 hours and watch some mindless, possibly piece of garbage, movie and pay $65. Really, what?! We need to invent a new hobby. Any ideas?

To my husband....I love you, you are amazing in so many ways. The list is endless and I don't think my blog roll could handle it. So, I'll keep it short and sweet and say you rock my world, so thanks!

Weekend Favorites

So I swiped this idea from my fellow mommy blogger at notsosilentmommy. She is so sweet and loves to promote other bloggers. I love that idea and have decided to also promote some amazing bloggers on the weekend. Hope you don't mind.

Also, I never get to see my husband and I should probably stay away from the computer, as much as I can...hehe. Anyway, I read this about a week ago and seriously, I almost peed my pants. I held strong and with my legs tightly crossed, made it till the end and ran furiously to the the lavatory. Whew, so I gave fair warning. Here it is.

Thank you to The mommy therapy for this piece of AWESOME! Whenever I need a laugh, I read this.....again and again! I hope everyone can enjoy this as much as I did! I give you several thumbs up! I know I only have two, but that just doesn't seem to be enough! You rock mama!

http://www.themommytherapy.com/2011/06/walgreens-thinks-i-do-meth-and-i-do-not.html

Enjoy Your Children

I went to the top mommy blogs this morning to see what I could find. I went to the top one, thinking it may give me a laugh to start off my day. Regrettably, it did not. I am crying right now and cannot believe how strong this mother is who just lost one of her triplets. I am truly at a loss and do not wish to bring any of my readers down today. The strength and courage of this mother that continues to write every moment to share it with her readers is incredible. She is fighting and oh so strong. I would lay down in a hole and give up I think. I did not know courage like her’s existed and I dedicate this blog to her. A woman I have never met. A woman who makes me want to appreciate every moment with my children. I will take today to enjoy my little ones. There will be no bitching today. Just pleasure in knowing that my children are amazing and well. I will not take them for granted or bitch about them today. I’m sure any mother that lost a child would welcome their screaming, whining voices to fill the silence.

To the amazing mother out there staying strong through the hardest journey any mother may ever have to encounter. http://bissingfamily.wordpress.com/

Also to my courageous Aunt, who lost her son at the age  of 19, my cousin. Through it all, she has still maintained her ability to love and to be kind to all people.

I aspire to have the strength that these women have shown me and I wish it for all of you, hoping we will never need it.
I send you all love and light and happiness. Enjoy your children!

Random happenings from yesterday.

I briefly put on “the doctors” yesterday and what did I see...oh yes... I could be my own Poopologist. The show was all about poop and people were tweeting and e-mailing their poop questions. I have enough poop in my life, the last thing I want to do is hear more about it on t.v. I am already a certified poopologist in my own right. If you want to know about poop just ask your local stay at home mom. We have all the answers.

If I haven’t mentioned we have 2 dogs. A 4year old lab mix of some sort, Bella, and a 9 month old lab vizula mix, Bailey. Anytime the dogs land in my daughters spot on our huge wrap around couch I hear the pleasent sounds of whining “Mooooommmm...can you call Bella” our lazy older dog frequents her spot and that is when she all of a sudden wants to lay there. Of course. Anything else for the princess? When I actually ask her that she’s like “No thanks mom, I’ll let you know.” Great, look at what I’ve done. Both of my children also have to scream and shout whenever the puppy has an accident on the floor. Yes, I know, I can see it and smell it, you shouting Poop or Pee at me isn’t helping. They continue their rant until it is all clean. They stand over me way to close for my comfort making sure the floor is spotless. Thanks for the help kids, I really appreciate it....who’s the mom here?

What a day...what a day! Just for some clarity, I often write my blogs from “pages” on my Mack. So typically, I start out in the morning and come back to finish it at night. The previous two paragraphs were from yesterday morning and this is my bitch fest about yesterday. Who’s ready for some fun?!

My son had preschool, it was jammie/movie day and of course I was the only mother that dressed her child in long sleeve, long pant pj’s. They were Buzz Lightyear and they are his favorites. Also, I forgot it was summer and have been to lazy and cheap to buy him short sleeved night clothes. I just throw a t-shirt on him, some cozy pants and call it a night. I would hate to have him go to school in non-matching jams, what would the other mothers say?! How could I show my face in preschool again? No matter, worse things could happen. Off to the gym, it’s been two months since my injuries so it’s about time... and they have daycare!

I found my way to the cardio equipment after explaining to everyone why this silly brace was on my ankle and where I have been for the last 2 months. I searched around until I finally climbed atop a leg swinging type of contraption. It was a cross between an elipitical and that gazel thing. It had a tv attached to it and looked like fun. I hopped on and was thrilled that my machines tv actually worked. No kids, my own tv, this gym is worth every penny! Now I get swinging on this thing and attempt to change the channels. Barley keeping my balance I flip through news, no, boring talk shows I’ve never heard of, no, cartoons, hell no, and Blade that vampire movie. So of course that would be my first choice, I’m kinda strange I like all of those B movies, like Blade and Lake Placid, that everyone else hates. Then I look around and realize that I don’t want anyone to see me watching this bloody ridiculous movie. So I find the controls and flip through yet again. The first round was mostly commericals and crap. What do I settle on... the food network. A personal favorite but kinda weird since I’m working out. 30 minutes later, I’m hungry and sweating and I decide 350 calories is good for my first time back, gather up my things....and my daughter and get the hell outta’ there.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Just a quick SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS! I finally buy my kids sandals from one step ahead. They were like 20 each PLUS shipping..... I hate paying shipping. Its such bull $%!#! Really $8.00 for 2 pairs of sandals that weigh nothing....ok. I gave my daughter her clothes that she said she would wear and of course...now she doesn't like the nice shorts I got her and she wants the $3 target shorts. So she's been screaming "I HATE THESE SHORTS...I....WANNA.....TAKE.....THEM.....OFF.....NOW!  I AM NOT GOING TO WEAR THESE!" Ugh...so my final scream was finding my sons brand new sandals chewed! The entire back strap is now chewed off beyond repair and I want to fing kill my dog! You can't punish them unless you catch them in the act so I just have to suck it up! My own fault for thinking she was over the shoe chewing. I should have put them in the closet. UGH! I want to scream...I just may. I don't think that the blog screaming is going to cut it. Going to the gym for the first time today after about two months of injuries....then dropping off the rugrats at my mother in laws so I can get my hair done. I wonder if I can BYOB or wine in my case. Let's see how the rest of this day adds up. Wish me luck!

90 degrees of love

 Today was the first day of “no preschool” for my daughter. I think just for spite, I was super lazy today since I knew I had no obligations. Today world, I was not a taxi driver for my children nor did I do anything child friendly. Seriously, my kids just played and watched tv...I know, I know....but sometimes you just have to let them do it. Yes it’s a virtual babysitter but, a moms gotta do what a moms gotta do. I fed them and made them countless snacks, using a new bowl for every pretzel and goldfish filling. I’m sure I will find the used ones strewn about in the living room or partially eaten by my dogs. Yep...snacks and tv...that’ll shut em’ up.

Anyway, I was blogtastic, bloggeriffic, blogfully surprised, blogged out of my mind and cheerfully bloggy today. I was a blog whore and every time I walked by the computer, which is set up on the built in desk in our kitchen, I had to read more. MORE BLOGS I SAY, GIVE ME MORE BLOGS! I was like an addict that just needed a fix. I started my own blog about 2 weeks ago but have not been an avid blog reader. I figured if I want people to read my blogs I could at least check out a few random sites. So off to the top mommy sites I went and humor was my topic of choice. Previously, the blogs I saw were kind of boring and could not keep my attention. Apparently, I was looking in the wrong places. Today, I was presently surprised and I’m lucky I didn’t have to change my pants from the knee slapping, make me have to pee my pants, I can’t stop crying humor. It was close there for a minute, but I made it through, even after 2 kids...ha, well, I’m still young.

I have to say ladies, bravo! I feel instantly connected with my new found blogger mothers. Half of what I have been reading is what I’ve been writing. Some of you out there are just hilarious. I haven’t laughed that hard in awhile, and it was truly a pleasure filled blogging experience.

After a lazy morning of blog reading I decided to shower and get outside. My kids lasted about 10 minutes before they screamed to come in because they were sooooo hot! It’s only 90 kids, here, let me spray you with that hose honey! I actually told my daughter that if she didn’t stop whining I was going to spray her with the hose. She stopped. I think I’m getting this parenting thing down. Yeah, maybe not. I blame my kids for making me crazy and irrational. “Mommy drinks because you cry”, yes....yes I do. It will all work out though, you know, the blame game. Everything they do wrong or don’t like about themselves, every trip to the principals office and bad grade will be blamed on me. Daddy will get all the credit and hugs while I’m asked to leave the room by my own children. Yep, I can blame them a little bit just for a few years.

Today my daughter told me that she wanted me to have “this many” more kids as she held up all 10 fingers. No more 19 and counting for me! I put the show on for the first time today thinking it might make me feel better and now my little one is all.. “I wish I had a lot of kids to play with all the time... mommy can I have more brothers and sisters?” I was wondering what medicine cabinet she climbed into because she was clearly on drugs. So I asked her who was going to take care of them. I said I couldn’t do it by myself so she agreed to help. She decided that when they cry she would put them to sleep and she would teach them how to play with toys. She would also give them lots of hugs and kisses. Ah, sweet untainted little girl, if only it was that easy. Those are all the thoughts I had until she arrived. I can’t wait until she has kids. I’ll be in the background going na na na na boo boo! Told you so! Not so easy is it! Then I’ll be nice and I’ll be a kick ass grandmother. I’ll have made so many mistakes with my own children that by the time I have grandkids I’ll be a seasoned professional that can give them back when they start whining or crying. Until then there are plenty of mistakes to be made. It’s only been four years, I’m sure I could screw my kids up way more by the time they’re 10. Looking forward to the years ahead.

I will be out tomorrow and have vowed not to go on the computer....well if I’m not here how can I. Maybe just once before I leave. Hey, I could have some important comments to look over, or another follower ;-)

Daddy's Home

Yeah, daddy’s home! It’s like an event when he gets here. We can all hear the garage door open and mass chaos breaks out. The dogs go nuts (we have two) our puppy pees all over the floor and the kids jump up and down in circles screaming “daddy’s home, daddy’s home!” Just some more screaming to top off a fun filled day of time outs and “I told you, don’t jump on your sisters head, it’s not nice.” I should really compile a list of things that I never thought would come out of my mouth. Or how my whole adult vocabulary has changed since motherhood. I’ll save that for another blog when I am a bit more ambitious. I just realized that I have to go to a meeting at 8:15 tonight. I am a board member for a children’s museum that we are trying to start in our town. We meet one night a month and I only have to walk across the street to my neighbors house, but I still moan and groan until I get there. I’m not sure why. I guess after a long day, I just want to curl up and do a whole lotta’ nothing! I should probably get dressed. I always feel like the slacker that shows up in “cozy” pants or jeans and a t-shirt while all the other mothers, members, look all nice and put together. They are so professional and I’m just cracking jokes.... that nobody laughs at. Yeah, I guess there’s a time and a place for everything. Maybe when I turn 30 and freak out I’ll be a little bit more serious, but until then, I’ll just be awkward. Hey, I don’t mind and I hope you don’t.

Whine, Cry, Whine, Cry!

Oh sweet blog, please help me keep my sanity while my daughter whines ALL DAY about nothing and everything! “I didn’t want THIS cup!” followed by screaming and kicking. Really, your lucky you got anything with that attitude. Of course she doesn’t want the $15 cup that keeps everything super cold. She wants the throw away one that has been chewed up by our dogs because it has a princess on it. It doesn’t seem to matter what I do, it’s just not good enough. I’m guessing that I’m not the only parent that feels that way. Some days I just wonder, “what was I thinking” and then they do something cute and nice and I remember. Sweet Jesus, are you messing with me! Anyway....I read a lot of um... “self help or happiness” books. I’ll list them on my widget bar, or whatever that thing is. They really help me when I’m about to loose it, but finding a few minutes to actually read seems impossible. Cry, whine, cry whine, come on... gimme a break already. I apologize, as I type my daughter is screaming in her second time out of the day. Now, my son, on the other hand, almost never whines or cries. He saves that for daddy. Lucky me. There goes the timer, please someone, help me get through this day!

Never a dull moment

My sweet husband has taken the kids upstairs to read to them, thus allowing me to blog about my day. FINALLY! I’ve seriously been waiting all day, taking notes in my head, about how I would express all of the mishaps and odd occurrences that have happened.

Where we left off was me trying to fit in a snippet of a blog before I began my day. Following that was dropping off my little man at preschool. He is in a 2 year old program and I love it! Oh, he likes it too. On my way, I encountered a ridiculous amount of traffic, for the first time ever! So that made us a few minutes late. So now I’m rushing to get him into school and wash his hands...he has to before he enters the classroom.... a rule I agree with but I’m late, can’t we just use the sanitizing spray?! Anyway, of course we have to wait for the little boy in front of us who is playing in the water while his mother stands aside asking how he’s doing. “Well, looks like he’s having a ball lady, now scoop his ass up and lets go!” But no, “okay honey, lets start to finish up.” Really....seriously....I keep telling my son he has to wait his turn as he begins to whine and cry. Then she gets the “water boy” a paper towel while completely blocking our way to the sink. She then watches him dry his hands and proceeds to stand in my way to get him ANOTHER paper towel. "Make sure they are all dry honey." Still doesn’t move out of my way so I decide to push my son in between these two procrastinators as I follow close behind. Yes I did roll my eyes. Thats just rude. She needed to know, although I don’t think she’ll get it. All was well. He washed and I said goodbye to my son to which he failed to respond. Okay then, off to dance.

Morning "Followers"

Ah sweet morning. I have only but a moment to say....Thank you so very much for “following” me. It was a lovely surprise to an otherwise rushed, whine filled morning. Even as we speak...sort of....my son is whining for god know what in our pantry. Alas, I must go to fill snack bags and dress my daughter in her ballet getup. You know, tights and a leotard that most girls love, but not my little one. It all but gives her a melvin and I get it. Been there, done that. So I bid you farewell and look forward to making todays events into something to smile about. Tata for now!