The Truth about My Husband

Contrary to what I may have written in the past, my husband is pretty kick ass. We joke a lot and banter with each other, most of the time. It keeps things interesting. So while we have fun bitching about one another he is truly my best friend. He is also the only person that can truly appreciate my Bubble Guppie dance. It’s pretty cute. I tell him everything and he always helps me with any dilemma I may have put myself in. He’s strong where I am weak. I guess that’s how its supposed to be so check that off my list. He takes care of the kids when he is home, plays with them, wrestles with them, gives them time outs... you know, dad stuff. When he is around mom is useless. Yep, they want nothing to do with anything “mom”. Its all about daddy. My son wont even let me give him ice cream. Seriously, I cannot even bribe my child to want me. Its all good, I see how it is.

I think I’m just jealous that he gets to go to work all day and have adult conversations with actual adults. I try to have adult conversations with my kids and they just end up asking a million questions. I’ve learned to keep it simple. They are only 3 just be patient. Also, when he gets home, as early as he can to spend some time with us, I all but jump to put the kids in their pj’s and throw them in bed. “I know it’s only 6:30 but it’s been a long day.”  The sound of the garage door opening, even if they were remotely sleepy, gives them an instant second wind. I need some daddy time too damit!

He is so patient with them. He speaks calmly to them and they always listen. By the time he gets home, I am over the calm talk and have a take no shit kind of attitude. A dirty look or eye roll will give you an immediate warning and a rude comment....right to the time out chair. Not daddy, he is just sweet and loving, which makes me feel even worse. Lets see how he does after 12 hours of kids. Not so calm now. Actually, he would probably still keep it together and then go outside for a LONG walk with the dogs. He’s so good that way.

I on the other hand let everyone know exactly whats on my mind and hold nothing in! Good and bad. You always know where I stand and what I’m thinking.... weather you like it or not. It is what it is.

Back to my other half. He gets up at 5:30am and gets home roughly 14 hours later. He works his ass off so I can stay home with our children. Still, he does laundry...I can hear the gasps already.... dishes, cooks, (better than me I might add, that is also NOT to his advantage) takes out the trash, takes care of our 2 dogs (like when they have an accident) I have been known to cover it with a paper towel until he gets home. He says things like, "honey you look like you need a break, why don't you go out with the girls for awhile." That would also save him from my 12 hours with kids mommy wrath. It all works out. Our house could be in shambles, it usually is, and he'll still find something nice to say like, thanks for emptying the dishwasher or the living room looks good. Oh, he's an amazing painter too. Like the house, not a masterpiece. You get the point. Now go show your husbands so they get all pissy.

 He painted the kids play room and made it look so easy, I thought I would try it. Yeah, not really my thing. I was trying to surprise him by painting the bathroom, but instead I painted weird lines at the top of the room with random spots of paint on the ceiling. I even used that special painters tape. Oops, my bad.  So instead of helping he had to fix my mistakes AND paint the bathroom all over....twice! Hey, it’s the thought that counts right?

Every once in awhile we get a moment to ourselves which is spent drinking heavily (he makes his own beer and it is sooooo GOOD) and watching a wide array of our favorite comedies. Like, Forgetting Sarah Marshall or Wedding Crashers. Recently, we have been watching I love you man or the hangover, but we pretty much have about 10 movies that we rotate through. I will list them later. We’re kind of picky so to add a new movie to the bunch, it better be pretty damn funny!

Now on the off chance that we actually pay a babysitter to watch our kids for a night on the town, we don’t even know what to do. We usually go out to a nice restaurant, the same one... we don’t want to waste time and money on a shotty restaurant. Our few hours spent with no kids is precious. We like to stick with what we know. Then we talk about seeing a movie but usually wait for it to come out on netflix. Our couch is way cozier than the seats at the movies and we can wear our sweatpants! Thats the seller for me anyway.

Popcorn is also a lot cheaper at the grocery store. Seriously, prices at the movies are REDONKULOUS! Nothing else for us lazy americans to do, so we all pay it.... me included....not frequently but I get bored to. So lets go and sit for 2 hours and watch some mindless, possibly piece of garbage, movie and pay $65. Really, what?! We need to invent a new hobby. Any ideas?

To my husband....I love you, you are amazing in so many ways. The list is endless and I don't think my blog roll could handle it. So, I'll keep it short and sweet and say you rock my world, so thanks!