I briefly put on “the doctors” yesterday and what did I see...oh yes... I could be my own Poopologist. The show was all about poop and people were tweeting and e-mailing their poop questions. I have enough poop in my life, the last thing I want to do is hear more about it on t.v. I am already a certified poopologist in my own right. If you want to know about poop just ask your local stay at home mom. We have all the answers.
If I haven’t mentioned we have 2 dogs. A 4year old lab mix of some sort, Bella, and a 9 month old lab vizula mix, Bailey. Anytime the dogs land in my daughters spot on our huge wrap around couch I hear the pleasent sounds of whining “Mooooommmm...can you call Bella” our lazy older dog frequents her spot and that is when she all of a sudden wants to lay there. Of course. Anything else for the princess? When I actually ask her that she’s like “No thanks mom, I’ll let you know.” Great, look at what I’ve done. Both of my children also have to scream and shout whenever the puppy has an accident on the floor. Yes, I know, I can see it and smell it, you shouting Poop or Pee at me isn’t helping. They continue their rant until it is all clean. They stand over me way to close for my comfort making sure the floor is spotless. Thanks for the help kids, I really appreciate it....who’s the mom here?
What a day...what a day! Just for some clarity, I often write my blogs from “pages” on my Mack. So typically, I start out in the morning and come back to finish it at night. The previous two paragraphs were from yesterday morning and this is my bitch fest about yesterday. Who’s ready for some fun?!
My son had preschool, it was jammie/movie day and of course I was the only mother that dressed her child in long sleeve, long pant pj’s. They were Buzz Lightyear and they are his favorites. Also, I forgot it was summer and have been to lazy and cheap to buy him short sleeved night clothes. I just throw a t-shirt on him, some cozy pants and call it a night. I would hate to have him go to school in non-matching jams, what would the other mothers say?! How could I show my face in preschool again? No matter, worse things could happen. Off to the gym, it’s been two months since my injuries so it’s about time... and they have daycare!
I found my way to the cardio equipment after explaining to everyone why this silly brace was on my ankle and where I have been for the last 2 months. I searched around until I finally climbed atop a leg swinging type of contraption. It was a cross between an elipitical and that gazel thing. It had a tv attached to it and looked like fun. I hopped on and was thrilled that my machines tv actually worked. No kids, my own tv, this gym is worth every penny! Now I get swinging on this thing and attempt to change the channels. Barley keeping my balance I flip through news, no, boring talk shows I’ve never heard of, no, cartoons, hell no, and Blade that vampire movie. So of course that would be my first choice, I’m kinda strange I like all of those B movies, like Blade and Lake Placid, that everyone else hates. Then I look around and realize that I don’t want anyone to see me watching this bloody ridiculous movie. So I find the controls and flip through yet again. The first round was mostly commericals and crap. What do I settle on... the food network. A personal favorite but kinda weird since I’m working out. 30 minutes later, I’m hungry and sweating and I decide 350 calories is good for my first time back, gather up my things....and my daughter and get the hell outta’ there.
It is crazy hot out and I decide that I need to rush to TJ Max and get my son some cooler pajamas. I wasn’t sure where this 98 degree weather came from. I thought it was supposed to rain on Thursday but to my surprise it was Wednesday, welcome to my world. I rush through the store yelling at myself as I browse through the women’s cute shirt section. “Focus, just jammies, head down.” I left with the 1 pair of summer jammies they had, another boy outfit....it was so cute, on clearance and came with a hat....and some light adidas shorts that were also on clearance.
On my way to get back to preschool in a hurry, don’t ya’ know that I get stuck behind every old man that shouldn’t have a license. Really, you can’t just go 30...the speed limit is 45....I can see that he is doing some important sightseeing but damit, I have to get these pj’s to my son who is probably covered in sweat due to my lack of good parenting and laziness! I turn at the next light and yet again, I catch up with old man river a mile down the road. “Ok, whoever’s up there....I get it! I’ll be a better mother!”
I finally arrive and run to his class to drop off his “cooler” clothes. Whew, all that for 1 more hour of playtime. His teacher was like, ok thanks, crazy woman. Oh, well, I felt better about it.
As for the rest of the day, the kids slept on our way to my mother-in-laws house...a nice surprise, she lives an hour away. I got my hair done, by myself! Forgot to bring my nook so I was forced to look at the best bodies edition of people magazine. Wow, is this what I’ve been missing! There are some seriously hot guys out there! It’s like playboy for a girl. The women are just as beautiful but make me feel like I should’ve stayed on that swinging contraption a little bit longer! I never have enough time to visit my hometown, I live 1.5 hours away from where I grew up. Yes, I still drive back home just to get my hair done. I’m picky and I don’t let just anyone touch my hair. By the time my hair is done its usually 4pm and I have to drive another 30minutes back to get the kids. So much for margaritas with the girls!
I’m sure other strange things happened yesterday that I may remember in a day or so, otherwise I should stop neglecting my children and wish you a beautiful day!
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